El Fin: A Month Later

Now I'm home, sitting in my childhood bed, watching Netflix and snuggling down in a Davidson sweatshirt. Things I would've missed 2 months ago in Arequipa but now am finding comforting but not overwhelmingly important.

My last month in Peru, from Halloween until Nov. 21st, was spent travelling. I slept in a jungle hut, wore native dress while visiting a floating Uros Island on Lake Titicaca, stood inside a Spanish cathedral that once was THE Inca sun temple in Cuzco and watched the sun set over the Pacific in Trujillo. I lived out of a suitcase for over 3 weeks and loved every minute of it. I caught a piranha. I saw a 3-toed sloth drag itself across the road in broad daylight. I met a shaman. I went over the continental divide at 16,000 ft. I ate lunch with a farming family just outside of Cuzco. I slept on a black beach and thought about nothing in particular. I relaxed.

Now I'm home, back to the craziness of Christmas. I got in just in time for a family Thanksgiving, the GRE and other major life decisions. For example, after my most recent to Davidson, I've decided to put off my MFA applications. I'm looking into teaching ESL at a local literacy center. I'm applying to a teaching/cultural ambassador program in Spain with a friend from Davidson. I'm home and every thing's the same while every thing's changing.

I still email with my host mom. Each letter makes me cry. Today, I talked to Fio on Facebook chat. I could only laugh when I realized that many of my friends finished exams today and are going home for winter break while today is Fio's start of summer vacation. That sounds so odd! Tonight, I practiced my Spanish by sitting at the table of one of my father's employees. Angel, the employee, is from Ecuador and has medical training. Now his step-daughter wants to be a pediatrician. I didn't catch every single word, but we understood each other. It felt like going home to something still not perfectly familiar. It was another home, though.

Now I'm home, about to attend a good friend's college graduation. This scares me because I only have a semester left until LIFE begins *duh duh duuuuh* Hopefully, this life will include many more travels, like my 1st to Peru. My only goal, teeny as it may be, is to see as many countries as I can in this life. Small, like I said.

I want to thank you, reader, for caring enough to read. I didn't even think about blogging until my best friend encouraged me to. When he did, however, all I could say was, "Who cares?!" But my Feedjit told me otherwise, all day, everyday while I was in Peru. My loved ones and even strangers began checking in on my life on a regular basis. They usually didn't comment, but I knew they were there, supporting me from home. So, again, thank you.

I'll end with a last Song of the Day. It was a fill-in-the-blank exercise for my Spanish class one day at UNSA, and it drove me crazy! Gian Marco is a Peruvian icon. He's on cellphone commercials, billboards, and all over the radio. He's basically the Billy Joel of Peru. This particular song is pure poetry. I'm including my (terrible, I'm sure) translation along with the lyrics. Read and listen. Disfrute y chao chao!

Retrato (Portrait)

I’m going to be a magician with a poem here tonight,
I am going to try to compile the heart,
Little by little confessing my diary and way of loving
Today my words only show what I am.


I am as complex as a book of theories
But simple, as if I started speaking about the sun
They say that I am usually a canteen or restaurant singer
And that I’m famous because of a love song.


I cut my hair because I detest combing it
And this tattoo is not a question of look,
I sold toys in the street
I slept on the beach and in the park,
I fell in love with my guitar on a balcony.


I have in a book the words of my mother
And in the memory of my father, a prayer,
They gave me so many good things,
They gave me wings and a thousand tests,
They taught me to always say “please”.


I have a little girl who lights up my day
And a woman who accelerates my heart,
I have defects and virtues
Sometimes I deliver for the clouds
When they speak to me and I don’t pay attention.


Today I undress, without fear, my happy times
And my sad times, I discover them without decency,
Today I keep on being the owner and the proprietor
Of my history and my dreams
And of my Friday nights at The Station. (Where he got his start)

For 11/17/09 (sorry!)

Yesterday was about perfect. Slept in for the 2nd day in a row. Went to the beach with my 3 gal pals and sunned a bun. Ate at our now-regular vegetarian restaurant, and we all tried a new dish. Took a group nap. Watched a movie. Had pizza for dinner.

As I was lying on the beach, I realized how tired I was of my typical music. Beyonce, Makano, Black Eyed Peas, etc. I wanted some oldies. So, I started listening to Chicago, Elton John and other random 70s songs. When the SotD came on, I was taken back to, strangely enough, Quaker Lake Camp.

It's your typical Christian youth camp. I don't remember much from my 1st year except my parents shipping me Big Bird ("Caution! Live animal!" on the box, punctured with air holes). And Justin. He was one of the few blonds I've ever fallen for. I wasn't even 10, but I was in LOOOOVE. He had a sidekick who was cute, too, but not quite as pensive as Justin. (Why have I ALWAYS found that attractive?!) One fond memory involving Justin was when all the kids in my age group made paper rockets that shot up only about 20 ft into the sky when lit. He was in my group. I remember painting my little rocket with spiraling blues and purples, and watching his face when they set my rocket on the launch pad. The pressure was on. HE was watching. Amazingly, my rocket the highest. Justin came up to me afterwards and said, "Cool rocket." He could've said, "Will you be my girlfriend?" It was all the same to me.

Why am I going on about this little boy? Well, what I remember most about camp was actually coming home and feeling very melancholy. There was something missing...him. So, I pulled a chair up to our home stereo system, climbed up and found Chicago's Greatest Hits on the highest shelf. I then snuck off to my room for hours of sitting by my CD player and listening to this song and "Look Away" (veeery emo song) This song, since then, has always been a favorite...but a little less emo. Read, listen and enjoy!

Hard to Say I'm Sorry/Get Away

“Everybody needs a little time away.”
I heard her say,
“From each other.”
“Even lovers need a holiday.
Far away, from each other”

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
And after all that's been said and done
You're just the part of me I can't let go (Ooo ooo)

Couldn't stand to be kept away
Just for the day
From your body
Wouldn't wanna be swept away
Far away, from the one that I love

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know

Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
And after all that's been said and done
You're just the part of me I can't let go

After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to

You're gonna be the lucky one

When we get there gonna jump in the air
No one will see us 'cause there's nobody there
After all, you know we really don't care
Hold on, I'm gonna take you there

(this isn't the greatest version, but it's the best I could find)

A New Horizon

On my 10-hour bus ride yesterday, this song randomly came up on my iPod. Now it's stuck in my head. I love the words, so read them, and also watch the vid. It'll take you down memory lane to about ten years ago when this came out.

I'm gonna cross the road and lay out on the beach! :D (Ain't I a stinka?)

Strangers Like Me

Whatever you do, I'll do it too
Show me everything and tell me how
It all means something
And yet nothing to me

I can see there's so much to learn
It's all so close and yet so far
I see myself as people see me
Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there

I wanna know, can you show me
I wanna know about these
Strangers like me
Tell me more, please show me
Something's familiar about these strangers like me

Every gesture, every move that she makes
Makes me feel like never before
Why do I have
This growing need to be beside her?

Ooo, these emotions I never knew
Of some other world far beyond this place
Beyond the trees, above the clouds
I see before me a new horizon

Come with me now to see my world
Where there's beauty beyond your dreams
Can you feel the things I feel
Right now, with you?
Take my hand
There's a world I need to know

Headin North: Start of Beach Vacation (for yesterday)

Fio, my host sister, listened to Michael Jackson everyday. Every. Single. Day. Whooo, now THAT's devotion! Before my arrival, though, she did NOT own "Will You Be There", the song from Free Willy. I was quite surprised. Therefore, I made sure to play it on my laptop almost everyday so I could share the joy. Then, at the end of my stay, I burned her a CD with lots of popular songs from today. Track #1, however, was this song. She almost cried, she was so happy.

This song sometimes sounds cheesy to me, depending on my mood. That's sad, actually, because I feel like MJ's being really REAL in this song. He's not holding back any emotion, and he's putting himself out there, asking, "Will you be there (for me)?" Personally, my favorite part of the song is the choir. Gives me chills every time. There's also several, epic key changes.

Here's to my little sister!

Will You Be There

Hold me
like the river Jordan,
and I will then say to thee
you are my friend.

Carry me
like you are my brother,
love me like a mother.
Will you be there?

Weary
tell me will you hold me?
When wrong,
will you scold me?
When lost,
will you find me?

But they told me
a man should be faithful
and walk when not able
and fight till the end,
but I'm only human.

Everyone's taking
control of me.
Seems that the world's
got a role for me.
I'm so confused.
Will you show to me?
You'll be there for me
and care enough to bear me.

(hold me)
show me
(lay your head lowly)
do me
(softly then boldly)
yeah
(carry me there)
I'm only human

(lead me)
hold me
(love me and feed me)
yea-ea-eah
(kiss me and free me)
yeah
(I will feel blessed)
I'm only human

(carry)
carry
(carry me boldly)
carry yeah
(lift me up slowly)
yeah
(carry me there)
I'm only human

(save me)
save meee
(heal me and bathe me)
lift me up, lift me up
(softly you say to me)
(I will be there)
I will be there

(lift me)
do me yea
(lift me up slowly)
(carry me boldly)
yea
(show me you care)show me you care

(hold me)
woah
(lay your head lowly)
get lonely sometimes
(softly then boldly) I get lonely
yeah
(carry me there)
carry me there

(need me)
wooh
(love me and feed me)
lift me up, hold me up
(kiss me and free me) pick me up sometime
oh sometime
(I will feel blessed

[spoken]
In our darkest hour
In my deepest despair
Will you still care?
Will you be there?
In my trials
and my tribulations
through our doubts
and frustrations
in my violence
in my turbulence
through my fear
and my confessions
in my anguish and my pain
through my joy
and my sorrow
in the promise of
another tomorrow
I'll never let you part
for you're always
in my heart.

Michael Jackson - New Music - More Music Videos

Why I Came This Way

Tomorrow morning, way too bright and early, I fly back to Lima. Saturday, I begin about a week of beaching it with some girl friends from the trip. Then the 21st, I'm comin' home!

It feels like forever now since the first time I saw the Southern Cross. At the time, I couldn't get this song out of my head. I remember tilting my head back in Lunahuana that first night and crying silently as I stared at those stars because it was all so new, beautiful and distant from everything I knew before.

I can't believe I haven't posted this yet. I enjoy Jimmy's version, but listen to the original, too, if you have the time! I better get to bed.

Southern Cross

Got out of town on a boat
Goin' to Southern islands.
Sailing a reach
Before a followin' sea.

She was makin' for the trades
On the outside,
And the downhill run
To Papeete.

Off the wind on this heading
Lie the Marquesas.
We got eighty feet of the waterline.
Nicely making way.

In a noisy bar in Avalon
I tried to call you.
But on a midnight watch I realized
Why twice you ran away.

Chorus:
Think about how many times
I have fallen
Spirits are using me,
larger voices callin'.
What heaven brought you and me
Cannot be forgotten.

I have been around the world,
Lookin' for that woman/girl,
Who knows love can endure.
And you know it will.

When you see the Southern Cross
For the first time
You understand now
Why you came this way

'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from
Is so small.
But it's as big as the promise
The promise of a comin' day.

So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.

I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
And music is her name.

(Chorus)

So we cheated and we lied
And we tested
And we never failed to fail
It was the easiest thing to do.

You will survive being bested.
Somebody fine
Will come along
Make me forget about loving you.
At the Southern Cross.

It's Gonna Take a Lot to Take Me Away from You

Today's SotD takes me back to car rides and sing-alongs. To my 1st time hearing The Generals at Davidson. To learning that this was one of my mom's favorite bands. To making a playlist on my iPod while still at Davidson this past summer, entitled "Foreign on This Side".

This was one of the 1st songs that came to mind when I knew I was coming to Peru. I knew I would want to hear this on the plane ride there...and back. That last plane ride is only 10 days away now! Read, listen, sing along and look above and to Facebook to see what I've been up to lately.

Africa

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in 12:30 flight
The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way,
Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say,
"Hurry boy, It's waiting there for you!"

CHORUS:
It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never have

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what's deep inside,
Frightened of this thing that I've become

CHORUS

(Instrumental break)

Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

Songs About Sunshine

I tend to be a happy person. That's just my nature. But when you're hiking through a sticky jungle with tons of bugs, weirded out on all types of meds, can't breathe because of a cold, and there's NO sun shining, it's not very easy for even me to be cheerful. The reason I mention the sun is because a lot of my happiness comes from sunlight. I always pick the bed near a window for that reason. That's also why I decided not to apply to that lovely, teeny, artsy college (Bennington) even though I lusted after their awesome literature classes. Just not enough hours of sun up there.

So, back to the jungle (or should I say, "rain forest", because it's SO true.) Our second day in the rain forest, (after a sunny, gorgeous 1st day), was a little bit overcast. I kept thinking, "Come on, Sun, come out to play!" but no deal. I started cracking jokes to cheer myself and others up, but it ended up only helping those around me. After threatening to cut somebody (as I so often do), Elisabeth cracked up and said, "Devon, I love you so much!" When I asked why, she responded, "Because you are always so happy! And that makes other people happy." I guess she didn't realize I wasn't really feeling the joy right then. Until we hiked down to our river boat.

As we stood in line on steep, slippery steps, waiting to board our only means of transportation, a few beams pierced through the clouds. And then there it was. A rainbow, arching perfectly over the river. Each end touched down in the hidden depths of the jungle on either side. Instantly, I was smiling again.

The songs for the day(s) (sorry, but I mean really, I've been in the Amazon!) are all about sunshine and how it connects to happiness. They're both pretty well-known, but still, listen and read the lyrics over. You might discover something new...

Brighter Than Sunshine

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didn't believe in destiny
I look up, you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me



Ain't No Sunshine

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone,
Wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

And I know, I know, I know, I know...

Hey, I ought to leave the young thing alone,
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness everyday.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

Another Hotel Room, Another Song

I'm in Cuzco now. After driving all day from the Puno/Lake Titicaca area northwest through mountains, over the continental divide, and past MORE mountains, we finally arrived. I should've slept the whole ride, what with my cold and all, but I was glued to the window. For hours, I watched the scenery go by, and it never got old. As for Cuzco,the city's downtown is in a valley, but much of the city sprawls up the surrounding mountains, the uniform roof tiles coloring everything orange.

Yesterday, we had dinner at a cool restaurant called the Fallen Angel. Typical expensive, tiny portions place. After that, we couldn't help it...we went to McDonald's. All I wanted was a McFlurry and boy did I get it! An Oreo Duo McFlurry with chocolate ice cream AND hot fudge. Mickey D's...you don't know what you're doing to me.

Feeling quite American and satisfied, I ate my ice cream without pause until this song came on (see below). Being me, I had to put down my spoon, get my shoulders bouncing and sing along. I tried to throw the "Oh (oh!) Oh (oh!)" part back and forth with Linda, but nobody was getting into the music quite like me.

Today, I've been dragging. And my spectrum of meds and side-effects doesn't really help. I'm currently on an anti-parasitic meds, a pro-bacteria pill, cold/allergy meds AND preventive malaria stuff. Wonderful. So, this type of song really picks me up, for example, when I finally wake up from a 4 hour nap :D Read, listen and enjoy! (And say a little prayer for me...I'd love to feel better for the next 3 days in the jungle) This one goes out to my favorite.

No One

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better

You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cause
Everything's going to be alright
People keep talking they can say what they like
But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

(repeat chorus)

I know some people search the world
To find something like what we have
I know people will try, try to divide something so real
So till the end of time I'm telling you there ain't no one

Tonight's Songs...

So, I'm in a comfy hotel in Puno, sharing a room with the wonderful Linda. She had the great idea to take turns playing mellow songs from our iTunes. She did the 1st song (which I already loved!) and I did the 2nd. Listen to both and read the words! Tomorrow, Lake Titicaca!

The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start



I'm With You

Starlight and wonder
The universe seen through your eyes
The moon is a glorious halo
Hanging high over your head every night
Spinning and spinning
A flick of the wrist and a smile
And in the morning so early
Deep conversations are spoken
in tongues by sunlight

Tonight, you can dream you're a star
You can walk on the clouds
And float to the ground
And I'm with you

We stare out the window
And look to the sky every night
The stars are the beacons of heaven
And maybe one day you'll go up for a ride
Oh, you are the sunshine
You are the face that I dream of
You are your mother's religion
Down on her knees as she
Kisses your heartache away

Tonight, you can dream you're a star
You can walk on the clouds
And float to the ground
And I'm with you
Tonight, you can get very far
The calm and the storm
Are forever yours
And I'm with you

I've thrown coins in the fountain
I've been to the mountain
I've lived through the violence
I've seen what man can do to man
I can't promise you peace
I can't promise you money
But I promise to make you the best man I can
Hold on to something
Cause your life's about to begin

Chao Chao Arequipa

Mamí- tú eres mi otra mama, una de mis mejores amigas y one of the best women I know. No sé if we will meet again en esta vida, pero soy una persona diferente por causa de tu amor. Te amo muchísimo. Gracias por tu patience con mi mezcla de Spanish y ingles. Besitos con mucho carinito. :)

Fio- how lucky I´ve been to have another little sister! You are one of the most intelligent, radiant and loving people I know. Keep asking questions, loving Michael Jackson´s music and being ¨abnormal¨!

Lucy- you are what made this experience possible for me. I will never forget your generosity through the form of open doors, ears and arms. Thank you so much for your patience with my terrible Spanish! You are one of the best encouragers I know!

Arequipa- I will miss your forever-sunny climate. ...I´ll also miss drinking and clubbing for hardly any money, but this is supposed to be a SERIOUS blog post :) I will miss horseback riding through your mountains and villages. I will miss the friendly, laid-back atmosphere. But most of all, I will miss seeing your volcanoes from my window every sunrise and sunset.

Today´s SotD is perfect for this goodbye. I emo´d out to this song, I confess, every time I felt lonely 2 summers ago when I first stayed to work in Davidson. It was a confusing yet liberating time for me. And here I am with these emotions again. I´ll let Mr.A-Z take it from here...watch the video so you can read the lyrics!